


untethered

by blackmushroom



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Gen, Internal Monologue, Minor Character(s), congrats to jinsoul for winning the curse word lottery, i don't do character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackmushroom/pseuds/blackmushroom
Summary: It's weirdly calming to be floating in space away from your ship since there's not much to do besides waiting. And thinking.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	untethered

She feels it before the suit's alarms blare off, warnings about stabilizing pressure and air leaks blinding her visor in an overwhelming manner. Rather, she sees it before she feels it. The metal bar floating towards her - and through her - in almost comically slow motion fashion, which frankly only adds to the cartoonish and surreal aspect of space, the place where your eyes always make sure things seem slower than they actually are. Something about your brain not keeping up with the lights.

They supposedly train you to react to these things, a ‘Dummy’s Guide To’ placed on every mechanic’s side table because they can’t be bothered to actually explain everything. It adds to the rift between the workers and the scientists, but it’s considered healthy rivalry to whoever’s not really involved. Nevertheless there’s only so much training can do and, as it turns out, sensory deprivation chambers have nothing on the actual feeling of not longer being tethered to safety. Heejin would know because she remembers her first experience in one and how claustrophobic it was to float in such a confined space, seconds turning into minutes with nothing but the sound of her breath echoing inside the chamber. In and out. At some point her thoughts were interrupted by the crackling of the old communication device - testimony of an eternal low budget that is only allocated to vital pieces - and that was day one. Back then, it felt necessary to go through all stages, no matter how bizarre and disconnected from reality they sounded because at some point it had turned into her goal.

It was probably because of her family, as most overachieving plans stem from originally. Truth be told, Heejin doesn’t really recall how she decided on going to space, but it was most likely caused by some off hand remark regarding challenges and achievements, the sort of thing that worms into your brain when you’re small and you need years in therapy to fully come to terms with where you and the idea of you start and where they meet or diverge. She hasn’t come to it yet, but it seems like a good plan ten to twenty years down the line after she receives all the awards available in her field. And if there is any alternative meaning in that it’s lost somewhere between the flight lessons and the trade school.

Any semblance of similarity to this stellar future had a guaranteed, patented Heejin mark of attention. An experience gauge filling itself with no actual plans set other than its ending, as if she had been plucked from existence at some point and plopped on a conveyor belt slowly leading down a path others had determined beforehand. Oh the dream to dedicate oneself to reaching for whatever can be aggregated to a path while the means take care of themselves. It felt much like being smack in the middle of a story with no background, except it went on forever digging at her soul with a tantalizing glimpse of the finish line. And what a finish this could be.

A quick ‘wooshing’ sound brings Heejin back to the moment. She frantically looks on her screen for any warnings of certain death or impending doom, coming up empty on her search. She breathes in again and relishes over the fact that she’s able to, someone’s oughta come for her any time now. So she focuses on the air going in and out, chest expanding with some difficulty, and visualizes herself finding her answers like one would unveiling curtain after curtain like snuggly fit russian dolls nestled inside one another, an endlessly daunting task that begs her to keep going cause nature says so. 

So drifting away doesn't seem that bad now and, as ironic as it may sound, the injury creates a grounding sensation. There's nothing better than your body's instant response to pain to create a sense of familiarity, like when you're eight and you fall from a tree after a dumb bet. It always comes to choices, to rely on someone else’s hopefully understanding nature so the awful sensation becomes slightly less so, to hope a watchful eye extends beyond blood bond - of course it does - and pray their knowledge on first aid isn’t as god awful as yours. Sure, you can’t move your arm and there’s a life threatening injury on your shoulder thanks to space debris, but it feels good to know you’re looked after so dearly. So when you blink for a second too long and the warmth grows beyond the regulated temperature of the space suit, it doesn’t feel too bad.

Stubborn essence, as her psych file says with lots of red pencil underlines, is what probably keeps her alive for so long, despite the blood seeping through her undershirt. It reaches her fingertips and the sloshing sounds that reverberate her helmet whenever she clenches her hands remind her there’s life pumping in her body. Not half as bad as she had imagined, but definitely nothing like any of her worst case scenarios entailing instant death by explosions and/or vacuum. She has to tell Hyunjin that- has to tell her that… it’s ok.

Another blink that goes on for too long and there’s no gasp on her end, it doesn’t feel shocking that her body is trying to save some energy. Heejin wonders what would happen if she were to cry in space, if the tears would freeze and crack the visor before her body did thanks to the rip on her shoulder, which honestly should have done something by now. It’s most befitting that her suit refuses to go out like its owner, so she chuckles as that thought is the last she has before losing consciousness once again.

“Heejin?” A sound stirs her awake once more, getting a groan in response. Waking up feels more tiring now. “Can you hear me?” Yeonjung’s voice becomes clear, almost too much.

“What?” Heejin’s voice is hoarse.

“She answered.” The voice is slightly far away again and it feels like a good moment to fall back asleep. “We’re almost there.”

The next time she opens her eyes, the lights feel extremely blinding and Heejin moves to shut off her visor’s warning, promptly slapping herself in the face. She moans in pain and cranes her neck away from the brightness only to see Jinsoul moving the overhead lights away from her.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Jinsoul’s tone almost feels calm, but her eyes betray her as she glances one too many times between her shoulder and the vitals monitor.

Heejin hums and weakly grabs the woman’s arm in front of her, the most energy she can put into reassurance before she drifts to sleep.

For what feels like the eighth time she awakes, now with Hyunjin’s laughter booming through the room. 

“Heej?” The woman’s laughter dies out and is replaced by a lopsided grin, cat like as ever.

Heejin murmurs something and Hyunjin moves closer in order to understand.

“How much...of a badass am I?” Heejin croaks with much effort.

“Like bike jumping through a ring of fire level.” Hyunjin’s serious facade only lasts a second before she’s smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

“Did I beat the record?” Heejin bites her lip in apprehension.

“You beat my record.” Hyunjin pauses before adding. “But I’m sorry to inform you Adam Driver is out there somewhere.”

“No.” Heejin gasps in shock. “Is Sergeant ok?”

Hyunjin lifts the tool belt with her nuclear drill still attached, an empty spot right next to it.

“We’ll hold a memorial later.” Heejin moves to cover Hyunjin’s hand with her own.

“It was a fucking screwdriver!” Jinsoul shuts the medicine cabinet harshly, making both girls jump. “Just get a new one from supply.” She mumbles as she leaves the room.

**Author's Note:**

> huge thanks to chris, ace and ana for listening to my ramblings and for the inspiration <3 you guys are incredible
> 
> fernando, i got the yeonjung let's goooo!


End file.
